onsdag 10 juni 2009

World Class

Good morning to you all.

Well, it would be a good morning if my head didn't feel like a thousand midgets were having a midget party and doing midget poos in it.

This is your all time favorite philosopher. Dear fellow climbers, I know for a fact that you’ve been waiting a long long time to hear my voice again. So here I am again. For the last couple of weeks I’ve been on a package deal to an exotic mediteranean island where I’ve been stalking world-class climbers. I also had the back of my neck sunburnt, drank lots of beer and passed out… before coming back in need of a holiday all relaxed and refreshed. All ready for the late boulder season. I swear, the Swedish boulder scene won't know what's hit it. I’m really looking forward to it although I fear my preparations haven't been quite as good as they might have been. You know the way in beer all the sugar turns to alcohol to give it that delicious booze taste? Well, I'm hoping all the alcohol turns into little energy cubes. If that happens then we're all set, not a worry in the world…

One of my young disciples came to me at the mediteranean island. When the kid walked up to me I knew something was up, He stood there with a look in his face like a politician that been caught claiming expenses for his Brazilian, wether that’s a wax or an 18 year old boy that he keeps in an apartment in Rio de Janeiro, that’s for you to decide. ‘What’s up kid?’, I said. ‘Well, I don’t know how to say this to you. You’ve been working with this so long’ he said. ’Well just come out and say it’, I said. ‘ I’ve discovered the last key to unlock the secret to become a world-class climber’, he said. I was totally bamboozled. This subject had puzzled me for a long time. The first element to become a world-class climber is strength. You have to be strong to reach world-class level. I discovered this back in my lair many years ago. The second element to greatness, which took me a little bit longer to unveil, is good technique. You have to unite those two elements to become world-class but you need one more dimension to become 3-D. And this fat little kid obviously found that last dimension before I did. ‘Spit it out!’ I said. ‘Speed’, he said. ‘You have to climb fast.’

And there we go, the holy trinity to master world-class climbing. Stronginess, Techniquiness and Speediness

At this stage I won’t get further into it. It’s actually hurting my brain while thinking about it. So complicated, so complicated...

Time for toast, coffee and possibly a beer. Naaah, it's too early for beer. A gin and tonic will do.

Yours truly,

Brunosh Spinoza